I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
