I just pynch a tree in the face
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
