this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
