Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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