That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
