she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize