i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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