He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
