We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
