he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
