It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My vagina is officially offended.
Randomize
