that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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