shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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