just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
