its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
