it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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