I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just found puke in my bra..
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
