So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
