i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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