You're my little dorito
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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