We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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