There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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