that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So vagazzling was a success
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
