The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
