I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
