You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
