That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
