I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize