Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize