Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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