I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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