hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize