hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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