But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
