of course. lets lasso hookers.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
