do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
