YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
