i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Randomize