I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
