we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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