what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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