Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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