She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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