There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
