no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
my liver is dry heaving
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
