A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
