My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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