Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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