i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
