I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
