the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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