you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
