Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
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Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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