I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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