Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
