So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
