I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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