It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
