I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
