so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
