I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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