I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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