wrigley field is MILF paradise
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
