yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
