his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
