I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
