Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
