This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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