In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
