I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Did I show you my penis last night?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
