went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
