I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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