I swear god or herbie drove my car home
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize