Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Sober January is a disaster.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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